Blank Pages Give Me Anxiety

I can’t stare at this blank page and leave it as it is

Blank pages give me anxiety

I have to write 

I have to leave a mark 

That’s how it is 

That’s how it’s supposed to be 

Nothing is spotless

Everything

Everyone 

Has a mark, a scar

Something that changed them

From what they originally were

That’s how it is 

That’s how it’s supposed to be

So if you don’t have a scar 

Then you have never lived

If you’ve never hurt 

Then you’ve never lived 

Scars tell your story

When words aren’t enough

When forced smiles aren’t enough 

When faking it gets tough

Some scars are too ugly 

I embellish them with metaphors on the blank page 

Spoon full of sugar to make the medicine go down

I give this page life by staining it

With my pain, with my anger, with more anxiety 

…well, sometimes with happiness 

Am I selfish?

Am I heartless?

For sprinkling salt in the tasteless waters

That’s how it is 

That’s how it’s supposed to be

This is what the world has made me 

This is what the world taught me 

There shouldn’t be blank pages 

Blank pages give me anxiety

A blank page is 

…death 

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