Being in love is beautiful… well it’s meant to be. But very often we are too busy being excited about the fact that we have met/ found the most wonderful person to connect with.. you know that feeling?! Like the person is the best thing that ever happened to you?!
Lately I’ve been thinking about how I would want my next relationship to be. I began to think about my past relationships.. figuring out what was right and what went wrong.
I think for the most part I did good. Not to say that I was always right because honestly I have also been the cause of someone’s pain and I don’t really know which is worse, being hurt by someone you care about or hurting someone you care about. Well, back to making my point, I think I’m a pretty good girlfriend. Seriously I’m not jealous beyond necessary, I’m understanding, passionate, loving.. all that good stuff. I’m beginning to sound like I’m advertising myself but really that’s not my intention.
So yeah.. I began to think the problem wasn’t from me. But then again my relationships had the same pattern:
-Phase in which we are both crazy about each other
-Phase in which the enthusiasm begins to diminish and I begin to sense a bit of distance
-Phase in which I point out the distance but the other person doesn’t understand/ they pretend not to understand/ I feel like they don’t understand
-Phase in which I stop complaining because I don’t want to frustrate the person
-Phase in which I start to take a distance because I think that maybe this person needs space
-Phase in which the distance becomes real and fixing things doesn’t seem to make sense anymore
-Phase in which we go from talking everyday to being almost strangers
So maybe the problem is me. It’s something I’m allowing or something I’m tolerating. Where am I going wrong? allowing the distance? I don’t want to force anyone to be in a relationship with me and I believe that’s the worst thing one could do in situations like these. If the person wants me they should want to be close to me just like I want to be close to them. It’s something they SHOULD WANT to do.
And there you have it. REALIZATION!!! Did you catch it?
The one thing I overlooked or took for granted (and I think I’m not the only one guilty of this) was the fact that I had found “the best thing that had happened to me” but never asked myself..
Was I the best thing that had happened to them?
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